Witty? Not So Much

Posted on Saturday, September 18, 2004

Further evidence of the continuing decline of American theater comes in the form of this press release…

Theatre companies across America are joining in the world premiere of “LAURA’S BUSH,” an apocalyptic lesbian sex farce by America’s most undercover playwright, JANE MARTIN.

“Apocalyptic lesbian sex farce”? What the hell does that mean, exactly? And what kind of “undercover playwright” tells you her name? (Apparently the kind who gets their “mysterious secret” revealed in such hard-hitting investigative journals as the University of Washington alumni magazine.)

Oh, and the title? Witty! Such a sly double entendre. And original, too — nobody’s thought of “Bush” in THAT way before! (Except maybe these people and about a jillion others.)

Like last year’s Lysistrata Project, which encouraged theatre companies across the world to stage the Greek anti-war play in response to the pending war in Iraq…

Yes, because clearly that worked. I mean, who doesn’t remember where they were when they heard about George Bush running tearfully out of that performance of Lysistrata last spring, sobbing “I’ve been wrong! I must stop this unjust war!“

… “LAURA’S BUSH,” comes to us just in time for the presidential elections. Along with the New York premiere, it will be seen in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Ann Arbor Seattle, Atlanta, and Detroit. Playwright Jane Martin considers “LAURA’S BUSH” to be “my form of campaign contribution.”

Somewhere John Kerry is thinking “You know, you could have done me a lot more good by just ponying up $50.”

“LAURA’S BUSH” follows an absurdly prudish librarian as she enlists the help of a small town dominatrix to break Laura Bush out of the White House.
Sexual and political hi-jinx ensue as they uncover a plot so evil and over-the-top that it just might be true.

Aaah! Hi-jinx! Those wacky librarians and their small-town dominatrix friends. What will they think of next?

While Fahrenheit 911 raised eyebrows, this raunchy satire may raise other parts of the anatomy as well.

Wait. Are you telling me that seeing Michael Moore berating Republicans about the war on the steps of Capitol Hill wasn’t supposed to give me a hard-on?

Uh oh.

The mysterious Jane Martin (Talking With, Anton in Show Business, Keely and Du, Jack and Jill) uses her trademark wit to elevate this campy romp into cheeseburger-couture.

I defy you to explain what “cheeseburger-couture” is.

(Without sounding like someone who needs badly to be punched.)

A three-time American Theater Critics Award winner and Pulitzer Prize Finalist, no one has ever seen the elusive Martin, and there is much speculation as to her true identity. Whoever she may be, Jane Martin has written a perfectly timed political satyr play that might not change the way you vote, but will certainly make you laugh. One thing’s for sure, you’ll never look at “LAURA’S BUSH” the same way again.

God, I hope not.

Sound Off, Loudmouth!