Advance Transcript of the President’s State of the Union Address

Posted on Wednesday, February 2, 2005

Ah, the State of the Union! That glorious moment when the President stands before the peoples’ representatives, and mouths meaningless platitudes at them for hours while they bounce up and down from their seats applauding like Pop-O-Matic Congressmen.

Ain’t democracy great?

I know that you are all on tenterhooks as to what exactly the President will say in his address tonight. Thankfully, I can be of some assistance; Just Well Mixed has managed to obtain a special advance transcript of the President’s speech.

ADVANCE SOTU TRANSCRIPT!!! JUST WELL MIXED EXCLUSIVE!!! MUST CREDIT JUST WELL MIXED!!!

So, without further ado…


My fellow Americans,
The state of our union is... strong! (audible sighs of relief; wait for applause to end)
Freedom.
Freedom!
Liberty.
Freedom,
freedom freedom freedom.
Iraqi election.
Iraqi people.
Free Iraqi people.
Freely elected Iraqi people.
Freedom!
Saddam Hussein.
BOO!
Hehehe. Gotcha.
Freedom.
Liberty. Freedom.
Personal Social Security accounts.
Not private. "Personal". Got it?
Freedom.
Freedom, freedom freedom freedom freedom freedom freedom freedom freedom.
Beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.
Thank you, and God bless the United States of America.

UPDATE: Wanna know how to do that cool “Search Related Info” thing? It’s Yahoo’s new Y!Q contextual search service, and it’s super easy to embed into your own site, or into Firefox.


Sound Off, Loudmouth!

No comments yet. Why not leave one yourself?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Recently on Just Well Mixed

Going Meta

Syndicate Me, Baby

Feed iconWeb feed

Share and Enjoy

Except where otherwise noted, all content on this site is provided under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike license.

As If You Didn't Know

Powered by WordPress, because why the hell not.

Obligatory Disclaimer

If you think anything I write here represents the opinions of anybody but myself, you need more help than I can give you. The opinions are all mine, folks. Nobody else's.

If that's too hard to understand... well, I'm sorry. There's only so much I can do. I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a miracle worker. I wish I could help you work through your delusional belief that I'm speaking for anyone else but myself. Honestly, I do. But in the end, that's a monkey you'll have to get off your back on your own. Sorry.