Meeting Haiku

Well, this is a blast from the past. I was doing some cleaning in my apartment today, and I found an old notebook that I used to carry with me at work, several jobs ago (we’re talking circa 1999 here), that I would use to jot down notes on various things that needed doing.

Before I just tossed it away, though, I decided to flip through it a little, and I stumbled across a page titled “MEETING HAIKU” that was full of little haikus I had written during the course of a day-long (yes, you read that right) staff meeting — complete with consultant “facilitator” — we had to suffer through. They made me chuckle again reading them now, so I figured I would share them with you.

Big U-shaped table
Consultant with a laptop
I hate long meetings

Vivid descriptors
Consultant-speak words that mean
“Say the obvious”

Often I wonder
How much Pepsi one can drink
Before one explodes

You would be surprised
How finely a large work group
Can split one lone hair

Magic document
Save us from the muddled minds
of those who pay us

Cultivate patience
True peace flows through staff meetings
The Tao of Dilbert


Comments

Bryan Alaspa

August 23, 2006
12:42 pm

So funny to read that. I do that all of the time too. We just had another long boring meeting today. I wrote a few…here are a few of my favorites:
Boring man talks now
>
> Makes all of us move closer
>
> Now I will doze off
>
>
>
> Nothing but numbers
>
> Makes my sitting here torture
>
> Oh when will this end?
>
>
>
> Does anyone care
>
> What this man yammers about
>
> I fall sound asleep
>
>
>
> Oh numbers, numbers
>
> Oh how I hate those numbers
>
> They just mean nothing
>
>
>
> So many buzzwords
>
> Those words amount to zero
>
> Makes big guys feel good
> That woman has long
>
> Toenails on her feet, oh yuck
>
> Why does she not groom?


Recently on Just Well Mixed

A brief consideration of various strategic problems in “Rule the Waves” (May 9, 2016)

Let’s summarize the strategic mindset you have to take to lead each of the game’s nations to success

Jason recommends: “The Guest” (April 23, 2016)

What seems like it should be an average schlock thriller turns out to be something more

What we talk about when we talk about a brokered convention (March 24, 2016)

What a brokered convention is, how it would work, and why you should care

This blog is voting for Bernie Sanders (February 29, 2016)

The Virginia Democratic primary is March 1, so I thought I’d take a moment to let you know why I’ll be voting for Bernie Sanders

“Rule the Waves”: a unique, compelling game of naval strategy (February 12, 2016)

“Rule the Waves” is hard to buy, hard to look at, and hard to play. But you should play it anyway, because the actual game is so good it’s worth it