So That’s Where the WMDs Are!

Posted on June 10, 2003

The ever-hilarious Neal Pollack puts the whole “where are the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction” debate into perspective in his latest missive:

My personal opinion is that the weapons were used during the war, but that they’re very slow-acting. Approximately six months from now, all Americans who were in the Middle East during Operation Iraqi Freedom will begin feeling a mild itching on their skin, which will grow more intense over a matter of days, until they are wracked with agony, and then they will begin vomiting up clear yellow liquid. Soon, their brains will cease to function, and they will become zombie-like and begin eating their children. That’s only in the first 28 days. If the infection spreads, all of civilization could be in danger.

How do I know this? From a special group of intellectuals housed in the basement of the Pentagon… [t]he President’s wimpy adversaries have no access to this intelligence.

Makes sense to me!