From the pen of the always-worth-reading Tony Pierce:

life isnt fair, my friends not in the slightest.
sometimes you meet the most unbelieveable girl in the world and she whispers, i dont like soul food
and i just got engaged.
and flashes you a ring so big that engraved in it are the words
the diamond is the hardest natural resource on earth
the good news is kristin, pictured, likes soul food.
thus ends the good news if you know what i mean.

Ahh, Tony, my brother… I feel ya.