TV Network to Take Great Program, Ruin It

Posted on June 2, 2003

Oh dear sweet merciful Lord, tell me this is a joke:

David E. Kelley to produce next season of ’24’

In a move that has obviously been brewing since the network’s upfront presentation two weeks ago, Kelly evealed some changes he has already considered for the program as well as some other eye-raising decisions he has already made.
“A new agent for CTU will be Kim Bauer, played by Elisha Cuthbert….”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kim’s budding skills and obvious inheritance of her father’s ability to maneuver difficult situations makes it a natural transition for the program and a realistic way to keep a much-loved character involved,” Kelly said. “She killed Megan’s abusive father. She escaped from Ira Gaines. She escaped from a police officer’s car. All of these things qualify Kim for a promotion.”

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

“We haven’t seen the last of Nina Meyers, either,” Kelly stated. “This season we will find that she has been placed in the witness protection program as a cabaret singer in the Midwest.”

MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

This has to be a joke. Right? Right?!?!

(thanks to Diego Doval for the pointer)

UPDATE: Well whaddaya know, it was a joke after all. What’s scary is that TV is mostly so abysmal that you could read something like this and actually see some network exec thinking it was a Good Idea!