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I Think They’d Better Think It Out Again

Today on CNN — “Bush Meets With Iraq Study Group Amid Calls For Change“:

President Bush met Monday with members of the Iraq Study Group, which is looking into alternatives to what critics call a burgeoning civil war.

“The president’s open to fresh ideas here. Everybody’s reviewing the situation,” White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten said Sunday.

(Emphasis mine)

They’re reviewing the situation, eh?

If you walk down Pennsylvania Avenue and listen close, you can hear the singing:

A man’s got a heart, hasn’t he?
Joking apart — hasn’t he?
And though I’d be the first one to say that I wasn’t a saint,
I’m finding it hard to be really as black as they paint.

I’m reviewing the situation:
Can a fellow be a villain all his life?
All the trials and tribulation!
Better settle down and get meself a wife…

I’m reviewing the situation:
I’m a bad ‘un and a bad ‘un I shall stay!
You’ll be seeing no transformation,
But it’s wrong to be a rogue in ev’ry way…

There is no in between for me,
But who will change the scene for me?

James Baker?

I think I’d better think it out again!


We Have a Winner!

Well, George Allen conceded defeat this afternoon, which means it’s time to announce the winner of this year’s Just Well Mixed Election Prediction Contest!

Remember, the challenge was to pick the winners of five closely fought U.S. Senate races in Missouri, Montana, Tennessee, New Jersey, and Virginia.  For the record, here’s how they shook out:

  • Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D, challenger)
  • Montana: Jon Tester (D, challenger)
  • Tennessee: Bob Corker (R, open seat)
  • New Jersey: Sen. Bob Menendez (D, incumbent)
  • Virginia: Jim Webb (D, challenger)

Only one entrant managed to correctly guess all five, which makes them the winner!  Frash takes the prize. 

Here’s how the final leaderboard looks:

  1. Frash, 5/5 correct
  2. Tie: Sandy Smith and Michael Miller, 4/5 correct
  3. Joe Dailey, 3/5 correct
  4. Doug Weber, 2/5 correct

Congratulations, and thanks to everybody for playing!


A Note For Entrants in the 2006 Election Prediction Contest

I haven’t forgotten you. I’m waiting to see if George Allen goes for a recount in Virginia before I figure out who won. Assuming he does not, we should be able to announce the contest winner tomorrow (or Friday at the latest, depending on my schedule).


What a Difference Thirteen Minutes Makes

Seen on washingtonpost.com:

Whoops!


Disappointments

There’s going to be lots of Dems celebrating today, and with good reason. Overall the Democrats had a very good night last night. So I won’t bother going into that much myself.  (If you want a sense for the scope of the Democratic sweep, read this.) Instead, I’d like to say a few words about some of the results that I find personally disappointing.

In OH-02, Mean Jean Schmidt (of "decorated Marine veteran John Murtha is a coward" infamy) squeaked out a victory over Victoria Wulsin, 51%-49%. This is the same district that chose Schmidt over veteran Paul Hackett in 2005. The obvious question is, why does Cincinnati hate our troops?

In IL-06, Pete Roskam narrowly beat disabled veteran Tammy Duckworth, 51%-49%. I guess in that district saying that you "support our troops" counts for more than actually, you know, losing both legs in Iraq.

In MN-06, the certifiably insane Michele Bachmann took the win over Patty Wetterling, 50%-42%.

And the biggest disappointment of all: Holy Joe Lieberman beat Democrat Ned Lamont, 50%-40%.  According to exit polls, fully 71% of registered Republicans voted for Lieberman over the actual Republican candidate, Alan Schlesinger. More shameful, 32% of registered Democrats did too — despite Lieberman’s flipping them the bird by refusing to bow out when he lost the Democratic primary.

The real shame of Lieberman, though, adheres not to the voters of Connecticut, but to the national Democratic leadership. They did practically nothing to support Lamont, despite the fact that he was the elected Democratic candidate.  Instead, they chose to support Lieberman, who’s become the Dennis Miller of the Senate, making a mini-career of sucking up to the GOP.  That gave those 32% of Democrats the impression that Lieberman was still a Democrat too. (I wonder if those 71% of Republicans would agree with that.)

If the DSCC had run ads in Connecticut saying "Despite what he wants you to think, Joe Lieberman isn’t the Democratic candidate.  Ned Lamont is.  Vote Lamont on November 7", don’t you think they could have shaved 10 percent off that Democratic support? I sure think so.

The fact that they chose to support an entrenched incumbent whose whole campaign was based on spite over losing a Democratic primary — rather than the candidate who the Democrats of Connecticut actually endorsed — is simply pathetic. Why do we bother voting in primaries if the party won’t help the candidates who win them? Why not just let the DSCC crown whomever they like as "Democrats"?

There’s a lot of celebrating for Democrats to do today. But there’s also some hard questions that we need to make sure aren’t forgotten in the process. Here’s hoping that no Democratic candidate ever again has to endure such shabby treatment from the Democratic Party as Ned Lamont did this year.


Today’s the Day

VOTE!


Desperation

Desperation:

What we’re seeing is an apparent coordinated effort from the NRCC — the House GOP [campaign] committee — to place calls that appear to be from the local Democratic candidate and then automatically call the same number back as many as seven or eight times each time the caller hang-ups. If the caller listens to the whole message it goes on to bash the Democratic candidate. But if the caller hangs up prematurely, the computer calls right back. Hang-ups are the achilles heal [sic] of robo-calls. So this seems to be an attempt to cover for that weakness by making those who hang up think the Democratic candidate is basically harassing them with phone calls. The GOP wins either way.

Desperation:

Early voters in the heart of the heated race to succeed former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay were greeted Wednesday with red and white signs that read: "Want more illegals? Vote Democrat" and "Encourage Terrorists. Vote Democrat."

Nasty campaign signs

(More pics at Juanita’s.)

Desperation ain’t pretty. 

On Tuesday, you can put a stake in the heart of the politics of fear and division. Get out and vote!


Iraq: It’s What’s For Dinner

Here’s the perfect gift to buy your favorite Republican congressperson after they get run out of town on a rail on Tuesday:

Jive Turkey

P.S. Time is running out to enter the Election Prediction Contest! Entries can be submitted until midnight tonight.


It’s the Just Well Mixed 2006 Election Prediction Contest!

Two years ago in this space, we had the first ever Just Well Mixed Election Prediction Contest, and a good time was had by all. So, now that we’re down to only a few days before this year’s election, it’s time for the 2006 Midterms Edition!

How to Play 

Here’s the rules. To enter, leave a comment on this post containing your predictions for which candidate will win each of the following five Senate races:

The winner will be the entrant who makes the highest number of correct predictions.

In the off chance that multiple entrants get 5 out of 5, we need a tiebreaker question. That tie-breaker question is: how many seats will the Democrats hold in the House of Representatives after the election? In the case of a tie, the winner will be the entrant who comes closest to the actual number, without going over.

The Prize

Political computer game moguls 80soft have just released the 2008 edition of their outstanding game President Forever. This new version (President Forever + Primaries) lets you play not just the general election, but also battle through the whole primary season.

Whoever wins the contest will receive a copy of President Forever + Primaries, on me.  And to sweeten the pot, if you get all five right and guess the exact number of seats in the House the Democrats are left with, I’ll throw in a copy of 80soft’s game of Canadian politics (Prime Minister Forever, Canada 2006) to boot. Not bad, eh? I own both and I can attest that they will give you many hours of amusement.

About the Races 

The five Senate races in question are all considered "too close to call" as of this writing (9:45PM, October 31). Most are "statistical dead heats", meaning that the candidates’ poll results are so close that they are within the margin of error for the polls.

For the tiebreaker — there are 435 members of the House of Representatives. Currently, 203 of those are Democrats (well, 202 are Democrats and one is independent socialist Bernie Sanders, who is a Democrat for all intents and purposes). Experts are predicting the Democrats will pick up enough House seats to give them the majority for the first time in twelve years, but nobody’s sure exactly how big those gains will be; predictions range from as few as 15 seats to as many as 40+.

Tools and Resources 

Here’s some useful sites you can use to develop your predictions:

  • The Electoral Vote Predictor has just about every poll that’s been run for every race in the country for 2006. An invaluable resource.
  • Talking Points Memo’s Election Central is another great source for poll information and status reports on campaigns.
  • The Washington Post’s Midterm Madness is an interactive Flash application you can use to test out your theories, and see predictions from the Post’s political blogger, Chris Cillizza.
  • Majority Watch does their own polling in 60 key districts across the country; you can explore the results in their interactive app. 
  • And if you want a Republican slant on poll results, Crosstabs.org is a good place to start. 

Rules and Conditions

A few rules, to keep things civilized:

  1. Entries will be accepted from the moment this post goes live until 12 midnight on Friday, November 3. Entries submitted on Saturday the 4th or later are not eligible.
  2. If you submit an entry and then change your mind and wish to re-submit it, you can: just leave another comment with your revised predictions. The comment by you with the most recent timestamp will be considered your current entry.
  3. If you can’t use or don’t want the software as the prize, I will send you the cash value of the prize ($19.95 or $34.90, depending on how big you win) instead via PayPal; or, if you prefer, I will donate the cash value to the charity of your choice.

That’s it. So what are you waiting for, Intrepid Readers? Get to predicting!

UPDATE (Nov. 9): We have a winner! 


Pink Sugar Dissolving in Florida

The profile of flailing GOP Florida Senatorial candidate Katherine Harris (aka "Pink Sugar") in today’s Washington Post is chock full of comedy gold.

"The only way [Harris’ opponent, Democrat] Bill Nelson could lose this," says Darryl Paulson, a political scientist (and Republican) at the University of South Florida, "is if he got himself in a drug-induced stupor and ran naked down the main street of his home town." …

Former chief adviser Ed Rollins, who managed Ronald Reagan’s reelection to the White House in 1984, said working for Harris was like "being in insanity camp." He likened her staff to dogs that have been kicked.

Before he became the first of three campaign managers to quit, Jim Dornan programmed his cellphone to play the theme song from "The Exorcist" when Harris called…

[Staffers] worried about what one former field coordinator called her sense of "religious mission." Two former staffers — Rollins and another onetime campaign manager, Jamie Miller — have said Harris told them that God wanted her to be a senator. Rollins adds, "She told me that she thought she could be the first woman president."

Comedy gold.

The latest polls, by the way, put Harris 20-25 points behind Nelson. So she might want to check in with God again to find out why he changed his mind.


Ya Think?

Sunday’s Washington Post had a front-page story about how teens are supposedly abandoning MySpace.

Overall it was pretty weak — long on anecdotes and short on empirical data illustrating its thesis of a supposed MySpace decline. But one anecdote struck me as being worth commenting on:

Dell’Aria said teachers at her previous high school started logging onto MySpace and reading students’ profiles, apparently monitoring the pages for signs of alcohol or drug abuse.

"I was shocked and kind of annoyed, and it was kind of an invasion of privacy," she said. Although no one got in trouble, word spread like wildfire, and many of her classmates reset their privacy settings to block unapproved users from accessing their pages, she said.

(Emphasis mine)

Jesus. We have to explain this to people? What are parents doing these days?

Note to kids: when you PUBLISH SOMETHING on a GLOBAL NETWORK that they even HELPFULLY NAMED "WORLD WIDE WEB" so that EVERYONE WOULD KNOW YOU COULD READ IT STUFF PUBLISHED ON IT AROUND THE WORLD, it’s NOT PRIVATE.

That means that IT’S NOT AN INVASION OF PRIVACY if someone reads what you wrote.

If that makes you uncomfortable, DON’T PUBLISH IT. Write it down on index cards and hand them out to your BFFs or something.

See?  That wasn’t so hard!


The Radar Report on XMU

If you like discovering new and unusual bands, then you should check out the Radar Report on XM’s indie channel, XMU (channel 43 on your XM dial). The Radar Report is an hour-long show that emerged from an email list launched in the ’90s to promote promising unsigned artists.

Not everything featured will be to your taste, most likely, but there’s enough diamonds in the rough to make it worthwhile. For example, last week’s show turned me on to Julia Othmer (listen to "Hey, Hey"); Plumerai ("Linear"); Matt Turk ("Broadway");  and Most Powerful Monks ("Our Love").  Not a bad hit rate for a 60-minute show.


“How to Steal an Election by Hacking the Vote”

Speaking of e-voting, if you were curious about exactly what would be required to commit large-scale election fraud in a jurisdiction that’s adopted e-voting, ArsTechnica has a helpful step by step guide.


Firefox 2

Dig it: Firefox 2 is here.

Overall it’s a nice improvement over 1.x.  There’s no revolutionary new features, but usability and security have been tweaked in plenty of nice ways, making it a worthwhile upgrade.

My only complaint is with the decision to put the "close tab" button on the individual tabs, rather than have a single button over on the right. If you use tabs heavily, it’s nice to have that button in a consistent place, rather than have to mouse from tab to tab to close a bunch of them.

But it turns out that it’s easy to change that back to the old Firefox 1.x way just go to about:config, find the "browser.tabs.closeButtons" preference, and change its value to "3" (no quotes, just the number). If you ever decide to go back to close-button-on-the-tab, just change it to "1".

If you’re still using IE (shudder), what on earth are you waiting for? Get Firefox and enjoy a better, safer Web!
 


E-Voting Failure in Alexandria Gives Allen an Edge

Longtime Intrepid Readers know of my issues with electronic voting. So far, we in Alexandria have not been bitten by e-voting problems, despite the city’s decision to buy systems from Hart InterCivic, who have already managed to foul up one election.

Oh wait, I take that back. Turns out that this year, we’re the ones getting screwed by HIC’s incompetence:

U.S. Senate candidate James Webb’s last name has been cut off on part of the electronic ballot used by voters in Alexandria, Falls Church and Charlottesville because of a computer glitch that also affects other candidates with long names, city officials said yesterday.

Election officials attribute the mistake to an increase in the type size on the ballot. Although the larger type is easier to read, it also unintentionally shortens the longer names on the summary page of the ballot.

Thus, Democratic candidate Webb will appear with his first name and nickname only — or "James H. ‘Jim’ " — on summary pages in Alexandria, Falls Church and Charlottesville, the only jurisdictions in Virginia that use balloting machines manufactured by Hart InterCivic of Austin.

Yes. Our voting machines are truncating candidate’s names. How could that possibly lead to voting errors, d’ya think?

(And it doesn’t do it uniformly, either.  George Allen’s name is displayed in full. Webb’s is apparently truncated because the board decided to label him "James H. ‘Jim’ Webb" rather than just "James H. Webb" or "James Webb" — both of which are shorter than "George F. Allen".) 

The local election board says that this isn’t a problem, since the shortened names only show up on the "Summary" you see just before your vote is committed, not on the screen where you select your candidate. And they promise to have it fixed… by next year:

Jean Jensen, secretary of the Virginia State Board of Elections, who said yesterday she only recently became aware of the problem, pledged to have it fixed by the 2007 statewide elections.

"You better believe it," Jensen said. "If I have to personally get on a plane and bring Hart InterCivic people here myself, it’ll be corrected."

Which I might have some confidence in, if they hadn’t known about the problem since the Hart InterCivic systems were purchased — three years ago:

Election officials in Alexandria said they have been vexed by the problem since they purchased the voting machines in 2003.

So why did they not lean on Hart InterCivic to resolve the issues before they threatened to tip the balance in a Senate race that’s currently a statistical dead heat?  Why go through two general elections with faulty machines before getting on that plane?

And if they knew that long names get truncated, why throw in "Jim" on Webb’s label?  Why not work around the bug and just call him "James Webb" to keep it under the limit? Why is it better to omit his last name than "Jim"?

That’s beyond pathetic: it’s simply incompetent, and unconscionable.

The Alexandria Board of Elections (who you can reach by phone at 703-838-4050, if you want to vent) should make a public statement immediately as to why this problem can’t be fixed before the election, and why they failed to test the machines properly before deploying them.


Wow Again

Boy, the Dems sure have raised their game in developing campaign ads this year. This one comes from Missouri Dem Claire McCaskill, who’s challenging Republican Senator Jim Talent.

McCaskill needs help to raise the money to get this ad on the air. Contribute online here.


Watch Me Embarrass Myself For a Good Cause

For the last two years, I’ve had the privilege of being a part of a pretty cool project organized by Dr. Jeremy Jackson at UC-San Diego’s Scripps Institute of Oceanography.

Scripps is a top center of marine science, and Dr. Jackson is a leader in raising public consciousness about the serious crisis our oceans are in. He’s written and spoken extensively on the issue, and he cofounded Shifting Baselines, which mobilizes actors and comedians to communicate the issue to the public in language they can understand.

(WGBH in Boston has streaming video of a Lowell Lecture presentation he gave on the subject in 2002. It’s a great presentation, I highly recommend it, especially if you’re not a fish geek — Dr. Jackson is great at explaining complicated issues in plain language.) 

Anyway, two years ago Dr. Jackson invited me to participate in a summer program he runs every year for his students. He invites communicators in various fields to spend a week working with his students, teaching them how to communicate effectively in various media. (He brought me in to teach the online portion of the program.)

The best part of his program is that it is relentlessly non-theoretical. The students are expected to do practical projects in communications, culminating in spending two days writing, shooting, and editing a complete dramatic or comedic 30 or 60-second public service announcement on an ocean issue they care about. They do a much better job than you probably expect.

So why am I writing about this now? Because Shifting Baselines has finally gotten permission to post all the students’ PSAs from the last two years on the web. They’re all excellent work, especially considering they were all produced in just 48 hours by marine science students with DV cameras, not by film students.

(If you’ve got a DV camera and want to take a whack at the project, they’re posting these as part of their Shifting Baselines Flix contest, which invites people to make their own PSAs.  Top prize is a copy of Final Cut Pro and $1,000 — and all entries are judged by a celebrity panel that includes Timothy Olyphant from Deadwood, Rainn Wilson from The Office, and my personal love goddess, Zooey Deschanel from too many indie flicks to name. Contest ends December 31.)

I encourage you to go and give them a look. As an incentive, here’s an Easter Egg: two of the PSAs (one from each year) contains a star turn by none other than me. The first Intrepid Reader to find the two I appear in and post them in the comments of this post will receive worldwide fame and recognition. 

So get to watchin’!


ADOdb Transaction Mystery: Solved

You may remember my question a month and a half ago about why the ADOdb database abstraction layer for PHP wasn’t handling transactions correctly for me.

Well, nobody had a good answer as to why that would be, and I couldn’t figure it out, so I ended up ripping out ADOdb completely and going back to PHP’s mysqli library. It was a pain, but it just didn’t seem worth it to spend time debugging ADOdb.

It appears, though, that the mystery has been solved. Yesterday I got an e-mail from Intrepid Reader Robert-Jan de Vries of ThirdWave WebDesign in Leiden, the Netherlands. Robert-Jan explained that

AdoDB features separate drivers for each of PHP’s mysql extensions (both mysql and mysqli for instance) and that is where the solution to the problem lies. Using the standard driver (mysql) disables support for transactions. Switching to the mysqlt driver (I guess the "t" stands for "transactions") enables this. Rollback works like a charm now.

Kinda stupid though, that it is not mentioned anywhere in the documentation when the transaction functions are discussed…

Sure enough, if you look in ADOdb’s "Supported Databases" list in its documentation, you see that Robert-Jan is correct:

The name below is the value you pass to NewADOConnection($name) to create a connection object for that database…

mysql                    mysql without transaction support.
mysqlt or maxsql   mysql with transaction support.

In their "Connection Examples", though, where they provide sample code for connecting to MySQL and other databases, there’s no mention of the need to use "mysqlt" in order to get transaction support. The docs use the "mysql" driver exclusively. Hence the confusion.

It’s too late for me to make use of this info, since I’ve already expunged ADOdb from my project. I thought I’d share the solution, though, in case someone else might find it handy down the road. (Robert-Jan has also submitted it as a documentation bug to the ADOdb team, so hopefully this will be made clearer in future editions of the docs.)

All of which goes to prove once again that Just Well Mixed readers are the smartest people in the world! Well, smarter than the author, anyway 😉


Internet Explorer 7 Released

Good news for those of you who are still stuck in Internet Explorer-land: Internet Explorer 7 was released yesterday.

The UI is still an abomination, but there’s significant improvements to CSS handling, improved security, and (finally) transparency support for PNGs.

Of course, those of us who’ve been using Firefox have enjoyed stuff like this for two-plus years now. But better late than never, eh?

Unfortunately, IE7 is only available for users of Windows XP SP2. So people like me who still use Windows 2000 are out of luck.

Word is that MS is going to push out IE7 as a critical update via Windows Update at some point in the near future, so a very large number of copies of IE6 are soon to vanish from this earth. Thank God for that, anyway.


How To Wreck Your Finances By Buying a PlayStation 3

I usually like Robert Scoble, but this post has some of the worst advice I’ve ever seen.

The background: Sony’s new PlayStation 3 game console is coming out next month. By all accounts it is a very powerful system. Also by all accounts, it will cost more than any other game console to date — $600 for the base unit, and you’ll need an HDTV to get the most out of it.

Many people have said that those prices put the system out of reach for most normal people.  Scoble disagrees:

There’s a meme out there that only rich people will be able to afford Playstation 3’s. That’s bulls**t.

Let me tell you how it works in the US of A. You walk into Best Buy. Ask for a credit application. Fill it out. They approve you for $10,000 on the spot (as long as you’ve paid all your credit card bills on time). You head over to the big screen department, pick out your $4,000 big screen and your $600 Playstation 3, and a $500 HD-DVD drive. Then you pay something like $140 per month in payments.

Can’t afford that much? Then get a screen that costs about $1,500 instead.

Yeesh! Yes, everyone should definitely take out $10,000 in high-interest consumer debt just so they can afford a new PlayStation. That shit makes a lot of sense.  Especially when the average American already carries $8,500 in debt on their credit cards alone. Jeez Louise.

Let’s take a look at this magic credit you can pick up from Best Buy. The standard Best Buy credit card is advertised as having “no interest for 90 days on all purchases”. Woo hoo! No interest!

But what happens when those 90 days are up? Read the fine print:

Interest will be charged to your account from the purchase date if plan balance is not paid in full within 90 days or if minimum monthly payments are not made.

That means that if you haven’t paid off your purchase in full by the time the 90 days are up, you’re gonna get charged interest retroactively. In other words, on day 91, you get charged interest for days 0-90. So “no interest for 90 days” is more like “no interest for 90 days, if you can pay the total amount by then.”

And how much is that interest rate?

Program A: Variable Standard APR: 22.65% as of 10/1/06. Variable Default APR: 26.65% as of 10/1/06. Plan B: Variable Standard APR: 25.65% as of 10/1/06. Variable Default APR: 29.65% as of 10/1/06.

Let’s parse this out. This language lists two programs, “A” and “B” (probably one for people with good credit, and the other for the rest), each of which has two interest rates: a “Variable Standard” rate and a “Variable Default” rate. But what does that mean?

What it means is that, in the best case, any balance you carry after 90 days is gonna be charged 22.65% interest (the “standard” rate).  And if you’re late on your payments twice, it shoots up to nearly 27% — or, if you’re already credit-challenged, a nosebleed-inducing 30% (the “default” rate).

30% interest, people.  Let that roll around in your head for a minute.

Amazingly, though, the Best Buy offer isn’t the worst available. That honor would go to cards that include “universal default” clauses in their cardmember agreement. “Universal default” is a relatively new practice where the company that issued your card watches your credit statements, and if you’re late on a payment to anybody — or even if you pay all your bills on time but do something that indicates that their “risk” in extending you credit might have gone up, like simply carrying a lot of debt on other cards — they can declare you in default and jack up your interest rates. Even if you’ve never been late on a payment to them.

(Based on my reading of the fine print on the Best Buy card, it does not appear that it carries a Universal Default clause, which is probably the nicest thing I could say about it. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice, your mileage may vary, blah blah blah.)

All of which leaves me a little gob-smacked at Scoble’s suggestion. (In the comments, after defending his post for a day, he seems to agree, caling it “stupid”.) Taking out $10,000 credit at 23%-30% interest would be bad enough if it was for something you really needed.

How badly do you need a PlayStation 3? Bad enough to dig yourself into a hole for five years or more to get it?


Give the Gift of a Truckload of Great Movies

Gift-giving season is approaching fast, and if you’ve got a movie lover on your list who you want to do something nice for, you could do a lot worse than to pick up Essential Art House: 50 Years of Janus Films for them.

It’s a box set of 50 (!) classic movies on DVD, including Alexander Nevsky, L’Avventura, The 400 Blows, Grand Illusion, Jules and Jim, Kind Hearts and Coronets, The Lady Vanishes, Rashomon, The Rules of the Game, Seven Samurai, The Seventh Seal, The Third Man, The 39 Steps, and Wild Strawberries. List price is $650, which isn’t unreasonable if your movie lover is, say, a spouse you cheated on this year or something. (DVDs are cheaper than diamonds!)

In seriousness, that breaks down to $13 per DVD, which isn’t bad; especially considering that you’re getting a huge chunk of the Criterion Collection in one fell swoop, plus a nice box and book. (Two years ago, Criterion actually offered their entire collection in a single gift pack, for the princely sum of $5,000! $650 is a steal in comparison.)

And no, this isn’t a hint for anyone to buy this for me.  Though if you WANTED to… Laughing


That Was Fast

Only five years after its launch, the Army is retiring their recruitment slogan "An Army of One".

In its battle to win the hearts and minds of recruiting-age Americans, the Army is replacing its main ad slogan – "An Army of One" – with one it hopes will pack more punch: "Army Strong."

I’m not sure about "Army Strong" but it sure beats the hell out of "An Army of One", which always seemed misguided to me. The Army as a bastion of individualism? Their whole training program is designed to get you to stop thinking like an individual and start thinking as part of a unit. I bet there wasn’t a whole lot of love for "An Army of One" at Fort Benning.

An analyst quoted in the story makes the same point, but more tartly:

Loren Thompson, a defense analyst at the Lexington Institute research group, said the previous slogan seemed to promote the notion that you could join the Army and preserve your individuality.

"If you want to be an ‘Army of One’ you probably want to join the Hell’s Angels, not the U.S. Army," he said.

Gee.  Ya think? 

UPDATE (7PM): I can’t believe this didn’t occur to me until now. Does anyone else see in "Army Strong" a pretty blatant attempt to copy the Lance Armstrong Foundation’s phenomenally successful "LiveSTRONG" slogan? 


Books I Love: “A New World”

new_world.jpg(This is part of an ongoing series introducing you to books I’ve loved, with explanations why.)

Anyone who went to an American public school already knows the names: John Smith, William Bradford, William Penn, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, and all the other men (and they were, alas, all men) whose labors resulted in the transplanting of Old Europe on a new continent.

So why bother telling the stories again, when every schoolchild has already heard them?

In “A New World”, Arthur Quinn shows why.

“A New World” is history as storytelling — Quinn’s prose crackles with life, and he brings a forcefulness and vividness to his depictions that you usually don’t find in works of history.  Each time he turns his attention to a person, you come away with an understanding not just of what that person did, but why they did it.

His method for providing this understanding is to structure his book as a series of personal narratives, each focusing on a single individual, and each told from that individual’s perspective.  Quinn doesn’t tell his stories in the first person, but each portrait so clearly identifies with the perspective of its subject that you find yourself seeing the world through their eyes.

Take, for example, the story with which he opens the book — that of Captain John Smith, founder of the first permanent European settlement in North America, Virginia’s Jamestown Colony.  Most Americans today probably know Smith because of his purported romance with the Powhatan princess Pocahontas, thanks to generations of bad textbooks and a Disney movie. Quinn demolishes the myth that Smith had any concern for Pocahontas in short order, and moves on to his primary narrative: John Smith as killing machine.

Smith, you see, was (like most of us) a product of his times; and those times were terribly, terribly violent. Europe had been wracked by war for generations — Smith was born twenty years into the Eighty Years’ War, and in his early years he was swept up in the violence, fighting the Spanish and managing to get himself captured by the infidel Turks for a period. By the time he came to America in 1607, Smith had two stars by which he set his course: a bone-deep conviction of the value of ruthless violence, and a single-minded dedication to the promotion and greater glory of John Smith. In America, he would have the chance to give free reign to both of these.

Quinn captures this brilliantly in a brief passage exploring the irony that Smith, a man of action and violence, would be remembered by history primarily because (good self-promoter that he was) he took the time to write up his memoirs and circulate them in England — memoirs that argued that the Virginia colony had become dangerously soft, choosing to live alongside the Indians instead of driving pitilessly to exterminate them. When the Indians rose up in 1622, killing one third of Virginia’s colonists in their beds in a desperate bid to drive the Europeans out once and for all, Smith’s words established him as a seer — a hard man for hard times. He would never return to Virginia, but his policy prescriptions were taken up after the revolt, with devastating effect on the Indian population.

Of Smith, Quinn writes that

his literary achievement was considerable. No one, not even Christopher Marlowe, expressed better the grasping, insatiable spirit of the Renaissance. Smith’s undying achievement is himself, captured for us forever in his words, like some huge predatory insect frozen hideously at the moment of the pounce, mandibles eternally agape.

Quinn’s Smith is a character out of a horror movie, not a Disney movie.

And yet, despite this, you find yourself understanding why Smith was so brutal, why he put his faith in cold steel and hard hearts. Smith saw himself in a world where danger lurked from all corners: Virginia was a garden of death, with exotic new diseases slaying colonists left and right, starvation always lurking around a corner, and a strange people, armed and uneasy, living just over the next hill; and the Europe in which Smith grew to manhood was a continent that had been riven by brutal religious wars for literally his entire life. You find yourself examining Smith in the same way you might examine a picture of a shark — marveling at its rows of teeth and its sublime adaptation to its surroundings, even as you pray you never encounter such a creature outside of books.

Quinn brings the same deep insight and beautiful writing to each of his portraits, each of which moves forward the story of the conquest of America.  From Smith, he moves to Samuel de Champlain, French explorer and founder of Quebec; William Bradford and the voyage of the Pilgrims, begun in joy and concluded in disillusionment; John Winthrop, shrewd governor of Massachusetts Colony; and many others, his narrative concluding as the English conquer New France and the stage is set for the American Revolution.

Some of Quinn’s subjects are historical giants; others are men scarcely noted by history. But each is a fascinating human story, and you will not realize until you have finished the book that it is more than that, more than the sum of its parts; that it has opened to you a sweeping new perspective on the earliest days of America.

If you like history, you’ll enjoy “A New World”; but if you don’t like history, I think you’ll enjoy it even more. It is history that rivals the best fiction in color and intensity.  It is history that lives and breathes.


How to Tell You Are a Colossal Geek

You see this commercial on TV and say “Holy crap, they ripped off Katamari Damacy!”

At least, that’s what I did.

(If you’re reading this post in a feedreader, it contains video. Click through if you can’t see it.)